In collaboration with the Shameless Society, I participated in a Shibari experience that pushed me to confront the edges of my comfort and safety. At the time, I was aware of Pedro Cordas’ reputation as a borderline practitioner, known for his controversial and sometimes abusive behavior. Yet, I stepped into the space, curious to explore the limits of my body, pain, and trust, two years after the Donjon experience.

Throughout the session, the ropes held me in moments of vulnerability, and I found myself questioning: how far could I go? How much could I trust someone else with my safety? And how deeply could I trust myself to discern when to stop? The experience tested the boundaries of safety—both physical and emotional.

It was only after the session that the realization hit me: I hadn’t felt safe. My body, my intuition, and the subtle signals I had ignored all along were telling me a truth I had yet to fully hear. This realization was profound. It wasn’t just about the Shibari experience itself; it was a moment of reckoning with the importance of listening to my intuition—of honoring the messages my body whispers even when my mind chooses to override them.

This experience became a turning point in my journey. It showed me that trust is not simply about surrendering to another; it’s about trusting myself to recognize when something feels wrong and to act accordingly. Pain and vulnerability can be transformative tools, but only when held in spaces of genuine care and safety.

Moving forward, I carry this lesson with me: to deepen the practice of listening to my intuition, to respect my boundaries, and to trust that the first and most important relationship I must nurture is the one I have with myself.